27 Oct

Yesterday, I listened to “Sparks Fly” by Taylor Swift, just to hear the melody and instrumentals. I’ve heard “Sparks Fly” and all of Taylor Swift’s songs a number of times and of course, the song stays the same. Except I realized when I’m not in love with anyone, the words don’t matter and I don’t want to sing along to the lyrics. And mostly because I don’t believe in the words or the idea that some dazzling guy with green eyes, a dark grey t-shirt or some tan skinned prince is coming along my way anytime soon.

On rough one of those days (yesterday was one of them), I listen to Mumford & Sons for their poetic wisdom. The words from “The Cave” literally cry out all that my heavy heart has been wanting to say, “and I need to know how, to live my life as it’s meant to be.” I’ve been living someone else’s life, not being who or where I want to be, not living the life I imagined living. These words alone have made me realize I need to figure out life and soon.

A few days ago, someone sent me a message on YouTube, sending me rare recordings of Elliott Smith. He is the inspiration I will live after of writing songs. There’s so much to say about him and yet little at the same time because his music speaks. After downloading all the Elliott Smith Grand Mal CDs from yesterday, I kind of feel like I’m in some secret Elliott Smith club, wanting to spread the love of his music.


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