i know i’m not alone

20 Nov

Rachel Platten describes exactly what I’ve been feeling lately, the despairs of songwriting. Because this is too good not to share.

Beyonce, Song Gods & my new album

Why hello there!

Writing to you from my parents house – sitting at my old upright piano in my living room, fire going….I have my laptop set up & their new dog, Beyonce (yep- really her name) is licking my feet.

I’m in the middle of making a record and realized I have not updated anyone in a while because I am in such a bubble right now. My grandfather is dying and that kind of punched me out of my own head a little, and it’s nice to be home and say goodbye to him and spend time with my family for a minute… It’s been very sad, but also somehow very nice for us all to be forced out of our own lives and back together, and I think it’s shaping this record a little bit in my fourth quarter. By the way, if you haven’t noticed I’m going to write this stream-of-concious-y because I am too emotionally drained to edit. Editing is the worst sometimes, no?

I’ve been writing now since June. I have about 45 new songs, some of which are incredible, some of which stink, some of which are just aight. It’s a crazy process writing this time, so different from last time and SO different from touring – I love it and hate it and then love it again. I make breakthroughs and am elated and in heaven for a couple days, then I have a writing session where I have no good ideas at all and I hate myself for a couple more days. Then back again to loving life. Consistency is not really my thing lately.

I recently moved to LA to finish the record and I’m mixed about how I feel about LA. It’s such different energy than NY and at first it was hard to remain inspired when I missed everyone I loved, but then I realized or remembered something important which I sort of already knew… Inspiration comes anytime you show up to the page – if I commit and wake up early and stay up late and just show up every free minute I have to my piano and notebook, the song gods know it and  help me. It doesnt matter where that piano is, it’s up to me and my mind set. If I pour out whatever is in there, honestly, earnestly, hungrily and like I have no choice but to share it, then songs pour out. If, however,  I am lazy and feeling like I need things to change in order for creativity to come, if I try to fake it and write what I think will be a “hit”, song gods are like, yeah, nice try, we’re soooo not helping you out today.

So basically once again I am learning what I sing about so much to you all, it is up to me to get out of my own way and listen. Showing up is important, but listening and being honest is the most important ingredient.

Anyway, I can’t wait to share this music with you – it’s awesome, but frustrating keeping these all to myself and my team – and I am anxious and excited and scared and overjoyed to finish. I know you guys are asking when the record will be done and all I can say right now – is DEFINITELY sometime in the first half of 2013. I do plan to start touring again and come out of hibernation soon too, but not quite yet. I just hope you all don’t forget about me while I’m being a mad scientist over here 🙂

Well, that is all. Oh man, I absolutely love the fall. Going to take a walk with this silly dog and drink in some cold Boston air.




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