hey mama! hey mat!

Mat Kearney is streaming Hey Mama for the next 24 hours here. I have played this song for I don’t know how many times, which means a lot.

This is a song I selfishly wished Mat wrote about me. I can’t get enough of this story how Mat met his wife Annie, the fact they met at Anthropologie, the beats and lyrics of the song.

She doesn’t know what she wants to be

With all the pictures in the magazine

She don’t ever want to go to sleep

Don’t say maybe

You’re the one I can believe

So many of these words describe me and how I feel when I meet someone I really want to be with. I have yet to know love, but what I do know is I absolutely love this song.

love what you do, do what you love

I think one of the hardest parts about music is learning from mistakes and the enthusiasm to continue, no matter how difficult the journey gets. I wrote these words a week ago when I made a mistake while teaching piano and miscounting the beat in a song. I’ll be honest. Rhythm has never been my forte. With a half note, an eighth note rest and eighth notes in one measure, I was confused until facebook friends helped me figure everything out. While this wasn’t my proudest moment, it was a humbling moment and I learned a lot. Making mistakes and learning from mistakes is how change happens. At least I’m admitting where I’ve been wrong and I can say I’ve been growing from all these experiences.

I’ve also been feeling this way since I started learning voicings on the guitar. I was thinking how everything was so much easier when all I had to do was memorize where to play chords. It’s frustrating to understand new concepts and I know it will be a while before I can master voicings. But I’m even more aware of learning music this way is more productive and effective for understanding in the long run.

As much as I love teaching music, some days I wonder if I should stop. I started having a studio last December 2010 and I’ve been fortunate enough to fill up studio time and getting to know hard working, dedicated students. But then there are those moments where a student cancels at the last minute, a few musical arguments and monetary issues. I wonder if this is all worth it. Knowing I’m the one who is in control and taking charge is exhilarating, yet nerve-racking. I could quit at any time or accidentally blow everything off. I’ve never been in this state before and it’s made me conscious of learning to discipline myself and being independent.

One thing I’ll never forget about Jeremy, my former guitar teacher is him telling me there is always more. There is always more to learn. Before I didn’t see this, but as I’ve progressed with the guitar and teaching, I have learned there will always be more to learn.

All this being said, I’ve had discouraging days where I’ve been falling and I feel a lot like failing. I’ve struggled and I keep on struggling as a musician, being a student and a teacher, figuring how music, people and the world works. This is an ongoing journey I’m continually faced with. I find what keeps me going is focusing on my goals and concentrating in doing what I love. I love music to no end. I start and end my day with music. Even as I sleep, there is probably a lullaby on my mind. I am making this commitment that I will never stop. I will never abandon music. My battle goes on because my life depends on the very substance I live for…music.